it only took 1 month

the other night when i was putting cora to bed i asked her what she wanted to be when she grows up.

she said, "i don't know. a vegeterian! and i want to be a mommy."

what has aunt cc been telling her?

will

In the spirit of 10

10-# of days we have lived in Oregon

9-# of nights of bad sleep lately

8-# of people in my recruit class

7-# of times we drill tualatin valley fire & rescue way (am i missing out on something? hope not)

6-# of members of our househould (pepper-we miss you. its just not the same without you)

5-# of toes on each foot that have blisters

4-# of the hour in the morning it starts getting light here. can't figure that one out. maybe i need to go outside and check it out

3-# of millions of times the broken dove in our backyard coos all night coupled with the dog who usually barks after midnight and before 6. (yes 4 and 9 and 3 are intertwined) wait. it just cooed again. 3,000,001.

2-# of showers i have been taking a day since recruit camp started tuesday

1-# of ila's missing puppies. maybe it was the squirrel, or the dove, or the night barker, or cock robin?

maybe it would not be so bad if my dog was out there barking back.

there is just something about a boy and his dog.

What happens after you get married?

According to Jonas, "Daddy. You get married, then you die."

Oh how much we all have to learn.

Happy 7th Anniversary Tara!

this is a shout out to my friend cornelius

cornelius,

thank you for the many years of caffeinated beverage dispensing machines. over the last few months you have helped me through many late night, last minute paper writing sprees by providing me with those wonderful, 32 ozs of tasty, carbonated, chilled diet drinks. thank you. where would i be without you.

1 more semester over. 1 semester of 1 class and a few more papers and i'll be done. fall 2009 can't come quick enough. what a happy birthday.

will

http://www.acitydiscount.com/Used-Cornelius-Beverage-Restaurant-Bar-8-Head-COKE-Soda-Fountain-w-Ice-Dispenser-DF200BC.0.96813.1.1.htm

Like she said...

...Portland anyone?

Goodbye Unified Fire Authority, hello Tualatin Valley Fire & Rescue!!!

Now...?

Thanks CC.

Thanks Chris for coming down and going skiing with Eric (my paramedic partner, left in pic) and telling him about the lateral hire so he could come and tell me at work that morning in late January so I could get a better job.

Hello rainforest, goodbye desert brown.

Ross followed in my footsteps for some time, then I moved to Orem following her, stole her best friend and started a family. We thought we were just going to be here. Now I follow her Oregon trail (no pun intended). Ross, but sorry, I was born in Vegas which is good enough for me. I'll keep Oregon and all it has to offer my little family.

I'm going to Disneyland!!!

Portland Anyone?

Pray Pray Pray....Today Will is interviewing in Portland for a firefighting job. Even though we LOVE it here, we are money chasers. It is a great oppurtunity for him and maybe an even better opputunity for us. It would be so nice not to be so strapped. I have total mixed emotions about leaving SS. This is an awsome community and I love that my kids can wander around from friends house to friends house and be no more than a street away. I have an Elementary, JR. High, and High School all in walking distance. Our park will be done this summer and the state will finish our new freeway connector this fall. Did I mention we have a Walmart opening next month? Then there is the basement the carpet we replaced, the painting, and yard we just finished and we finally feel like we can spend money on a vacation rather then a home improvement project. Why now? There is so much that goes through my head when I think about moving. Will I be lonely? What kind of school will my kids go to? Then somehow, 600.00 in plane tickets later, I think Will is doing the right thing. It is now or never. I just hope that we will know what to do if the decision has to be made. I think it would be a great adventure for our family and it is beautiful there. I would love being so close to the Ocean and my skin would love the humidity. I will keep you posted. We should know by the end of April. Good Luck Honey.

Sometimes I feel Like a Speck

Sometimes I feel like a speck. Even though there are so many houses around me, I feel like mine moves as much as Who Ville. So what is going on in our little speck of a house?
Well we have an amazing Dad who works two jobs, goes to school, does boy scouts, spends time with five children, attends foster meetings, and does my house projects, exercises, and even makes time for "needy me".

Cora is really taking off with her reading! Tonight she read one of the American Girl books to me. "Meet Samantha" She has been playing with her Samantha doll all day. I just love helping her change outfits and fixing her up. I secretly wish she had some barbies so we could change their clothes a lot and brush their hair. Yes, I like to play with dolls still.

Jonas is seeming closer to four everyday. Sometimes he has the deepest thoughts and he shares the most interesting dreams. He adores Ila so much that he clenches his teeth when he goes to kiss her. My favorite thing he does is invent weapons and weapon holders. Yesterday he used one of Cora's headbands to hold all his swords. He loves preschool and sunbeams. He always tells me the songs they learned and the "works" he did that day.

Ila is a nonstop talker. She is telling Jonas what to do all day long. We call her the little boss. She is obessed with Lady and the Tramp and wants to watch it several times a day. She is also becoming very independent. She strips and tries to use the toilet, pushes up a stool to wash her hands, and even fed the fish. We had a nice rainbow of goldfish food all over the girls room. It was everywhere and all over the new carpet. Anybody have any ideas how to get rid of the smell?

Then there is me..."If Mom's place is in the home? Why am I always in the car?" Foster care has been the most amazing experience. It has made me both a better person and a better mom to my children. I don't like living in the car and I have been figuring out how to do that less. My time with my biological children has become more meaningful. I work harder to stop what I am doing and treasure small moments alone with each one of them. I love having my girls around to help me see life in different lights. Even though I have never been so busy, I would never take it back. It is an experience that is never understood by others. I can say that I do see people stop and stare sometimes and there are a lot of ignorant people who ask me things they shouldn't. Foster care is made up of this interesting subculture of wonderful people. So many of them have taught me invaluable parenting skills that I will use all of my life. As for my children , they love having teenagers in the house. How do I know? They tell me. And if they are gone, my kids always ask when they are coming back.

The hardest part is letting them go. I have never had such an empty feeling. I have never felt so hollow. As I left the courtroom a few weeks ago, I cried. One of my girls was leaving my home. I always hope they remember what I taught them, but mostly I hope they know how much I love them. Goodbyes are always hard for me and I usually try to avoid them. Another foster parent told me writing about it helped them. I guess I am trying it. I hope that I will get better at it because I have more goodbyes to go.

So back to the speck. Last Sunday, someone told me everyone is busy when I told her I didn't know if I could handle my calling anymore. I guess she was right. No matter how busy you feel everyone is busy in their own life. You have time to do stuff, but you choose what you do with your time. Each household is their own speck and probably everyone feels like their house is a Who Ville at times.